As I sit in my pink, fluffy chair next to my strange pet platypus, Perry, I gaze into the rainy outside, were the lighting is creating the loudest thunder I think I have ever heard. Perry curls up next to me, cold and afraid. I run into my bedroom and grab a sweater from my closet. I slip it on over my tank top. By this time in the storm, the power is out and i am starving!!! I think that I should go into the kitchen to find something to eat. Perry is practically glued to my side. As, I am walking into there, to get my bowl of Cookie Crisp, the rain stops. It is peaceful outside. I look out the kitchen window and see there is a rainbow. The bright orange and red.It is breath taking. I grab my bike and head outside. I need to go down to the farm to check on my alpacas. Rosalie, my favorite one, is inside the barn, cuddled up next to her mom. This month is always the hardest for the farm. It rains and then the sun shine for 10 days straight. The weather is just so inconsistent.
BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I whip my head around, ‘What was that?’ I see a hammer lying on the floor and see Rosalie standing in front of it. She must have gotten into the tool box. ‘Rosalie, you know that you are not supposed to be in there!!’ She puts her head down as if she was pouting. I say ‘I am Sorry,’ she picks her head up and smiles at me. I laugh and give her some food before I go back into my home.
When I return to my bedroom the aroma of roses is overwhelming. I think to myself, ‘I love that guy sometimes!’ (because my husband got me roses.) When you walk into my bedroom and look to the right you see a large painting of the New York skyline. When you look to the left you see a painting of a waterfall. I think to myself, ‘I love my room!’ I plop on my bed, as I am exhausted from my long day at work. and biking down to the farm I work at a company largely known as Apple, where I take minutes at meeting and get coffee for the boss.
I think that I should get back downstairs because I just heard the kids. They must have just got home off of the bus. We are celebrating Hanukkah and my daughter, Denise’s, birthday tonight. I have to make this HUGE dinner, krabby patties (hamburgers) and ghostly punch (fruit punch with fruit in it) because Denise’s 2 favorite shows are SpongeBob and Mostly Ghostly. Write to you later!!
Love,
Mckena
When I read a short story titled "The Circuit" it inspired me to write about my past. Not only the good but also the bad times. In the story Panchito did not have it easy by any means. In this way I was able to connect to the him and his personality.
When I was in second grade my sister started kindergarten. My parents have now been divorced for about one year and we were living with my dad. Keeping that in mind I took on the role of a mom for my little sister. At that time my dad had a drinking problem so, he didn't get up in the mornings with us all of the time. I was the one responsible for getting her up for school, picking out her cloths, making her breakfast and making sure that we were out for the bus on time. At that time I was only 7 years old. In this way I connected to Panchito because he had so much responsibility on his shoulders. He did not know what to expect when he woke up in the morning or when he went to bed at night. As time went on things got better for both Panchito and I.
For me, my dad worked as a painter during the summer and my great grandmother came and spent the day with us. We took walks and bike rides. Had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch everyday. Things were great. For Panchito, he started school and made a friends with Mr. Lema. Later he was promised trumpet lessons. He was so overjoyed to go home and tell his family. I guess in this way Panchito and I are very similar but still very different becausePanchito thought things were going to get better but, they never did; where as things got 10 times better for me.
I believe that all things happen for a reason. When I had to take care of my sister, it taught me responsibility and discipline. It taught me that everything cannot always be about you. This world is made up of many people. If everyone had the thought in their head that every minute of every day is about them, this world would be headed no wear fast. We need to think about one another and our actions and how they effect others.
Response to "The Circuit"
When I was in second grade my sister started kindergarten. My parents have now been divorced for about one year and we were living with my dad. Keeping that in mind I took on the role of a mom for my little sister. At that time my dad had a drinking problem so, he didn't get up in the mornings with us all of the time. I was the one responsible for getting her up for school, picking out her cloths, making her breakfast and making sure that we were out for the bus on time. At that time I was only 7 years old. In this way I connected to Panchito because he had so much responsibility on his shoulders. He did not know what to expect when he woke up in the morning or when he went to bed at night. As time went on things got better for both Panchito and I.
For me, my dad worked as a painter during the summer and my great grandmother came and spent the day with us. We took walks and bike rides. Had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch everyday. Things were great. For Panchito, he started school and made a friends with Mr. Lema. Later he was promised trumpet lessons. He was so overjoyed to go home and tell his family. I guess in this way Panchito and I are very similar but still very different becausePanchito thought things were going to get better but, they never did; where as things got 10 times better for me.
I believe that all things happen for a reason. When I had to take care of my sister, it taught me responsibility and discipline. It taught me that everything cannot always be about you. This world is made up of many people. If everyone had the thought in their head that every minute of every day is about them, this world would be headed no wear fast. We need to think about one another and our actions and how they effect others.
The letter was very descriptive, but I don't think it needed to be a letter. It sounded more like a story, but it sound realistic like your real life. I love how you took all words and put it in a different direction from the other pieces. Amazing!
ReplyDeleteYou had very advanced vocabulary in this piece, but I agree with Tien. It was fine on its own as a story, you didn't need to make it a letter. Also when she said you took a different direction... you didn't start it with "I walked down the stairs and ate my cookie crisps"
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job using the vocabulary words in this writing piece. One thing that wasn't that good was adding extra exlamation points. You should only add one at the end of those sentences. I agree with Callie that you had advanced vocabulary in this piece as well as the words that were assigned for you. Great job!
ReplyDeleteResponse to "The required story"
ReplyDeleteYour piece was very interesting because you wrote it in a form of a letter. You do not have to add the extra comments at the end of sentences such as extra exclamation points or capitalizing words that can be lower case. Just a couple formatting errors, but good job.
~Redmon
I think that you wrote this piece in a very diffent way then what I would have. The girls are correct, you used a lot of strong vocabulary which really helped it out. I was stayed on topic which is always good. Great job.
ReplyDelete